AITA for not telling my dad about an award I was getting in school? My brother somehow found out about my daughter's existence a few weeks ago. I just feel like an ungrateful Asshole right now. He hasn't talked to me since it has happened and I wasn't invited to Thanksgiving or Christmas. His oldest stepkids dad was moving for work and she wanted to move with him, and the courts said that she could. I never forgave him for moving. Aita for not telling my dad about an award 2022. I told him that it wasn't as he didn't even know what I liked to buy something I would like and I was getting way less than my brother got as always. They accused me of denying my daughter a family that could've helped raise her in many different ways. My dad bought my brother a very expensive watch and paid for his trip to Europe when he graduated.
Both my wife and I are deaf. He went on about him being my dad and deserving to know and how proud he was, etc, and why couldn't I see, why was I out to hurt him. Aita for not telling my dad about an award speech. I wasn't happy when told me about my gift. I only speak to him during court mandated times, and I don't see him unless I absolutely have to. When they arrived he tried to check in and when he couldn't, he called me, I only said ''yeah, I cancelled it. '' I hope I've given enough context.
We hate it, especially my wife who has purposefully not visited them since 2017. I was honestly really excited so I offered to pay for the hotel reservation because I wanted to feel mature (lo) my dad said no a bunch of times but I ended up convincing him. I won't lie, I really enjoyed it, I could really talk with my dad, do fun stuff and be around him without having to wait for my stepbrothers to stop talking to him or anything. Aita for not telling my dad about an award 2021. That regardless of how I feel he has a right to know. Saying I'd have "siblings" all the time and how great it was there and stuff. He told me he/they could have flown out to show support and it would have been a nice extra visit for us. We're in our 30s, and they still treat us like children. He could see that I was upset and asked me if it wasn't enough in an irritated tone. ETA: They paid for my brother's apartment and living expenses when he was in college.
We keep her off social media and I visited them only once since she was born, but she stayed home with my wife. But I never wanted to leave my mom and I was too mad that he picked them over me. He is the perfect son every parent would have wanted to have. I remember I used to cry at night because I couldn't understand.
So I never told them about my daughter. I told him what was the point, that his choice was made 9 years ago that they were more important and my life didn't involve them anymore. But again he said no. I was excited to spend the evening with him but he blew me of. They didn't even learn sign language for me. My dad didn't even want to go out with me. My wife (35F) and I (36M) live across the country from my family and we only visit for weddings, funerals and other big family-related events. No one in my family keeps in touch with me anyway so I didn't see a reason to volunteer any information to them. My dad's wife didn't want to be apart from her oldest or to separate her three kids, so she wanted to move as well. I told him that I wanted to go out and he said he was busy but wanted the give me my graduation gift and he said he will transfer 5, 000 dollars to my account. I told him I wasn't trying to hurt him but that I was never going to have that relationship he wants after he left me to be with "his family" and that all choices have consequences which he and my mom taught me and that he is now living with his, in that his daughter doesn't want a relationship with him anymore. My dad always liked my brother more.
He sent me a long text apologizing and my mom said that what I did wasn't okay and that I owe them an apology, apparently they're on their way back because they couldn't find an hotel. So now on to the issue: my wife and I have a 2-year-old daughter. ETA: As someone suggested I'm adding this, the trip with my dad and the spa getaway with my mom was because I got an early acceptance nor because I was graduating high school, that why Julia had no business being there. And if she turned out deaf (she didn't), they wouldn't treat her with respect either. I also informed my dad that since he keeps hurting me and putting his other family above what I explicitly ask him for then I would rather go NC with him and that he was currently uninvited to my graduation. My dad was remarried at the time, had three stepkids. I have a successful career, and so does my wife, and we've been completely on our own since college. Growing up they only did the bare minimum: fed me, clothed me, made small talk but they never actually tried to get to know me or do anything beyond that. I have faded from him over time.
He tries but his choice was made when he moved and my opinion on that is unchanging. We have a healthy bank account, we travel a lot and we're ready to buy a nice house but we're waiting for the housing market to cool down. They may have a point. I'm this medicore girl who struggled through a CS degree. They think that we're both stupid and incapable of anything just because we can't hear. Despite all that, my family thinks that my wife's family takes care of us, i. e. help out financially, manage our finances and walk us through everyday tasks like buying groceries or paying bills. Over the years they attempted to make it appealing for me to live with them. When dad told me I begged him to stay. The whole family is very upset.
He doesn't have his life together. Julia and I'll be graduating this summer, I got an early acceptance to my college of choice and when I told my parents, both decided to do something to celebrate. My dad found out about this last week, but I got the award at the start of May. I could feel my eyes burning and I told him that this wasn't the deal, he tried to convince me but he ended up leaving with her. They still paid a portion of his fees and his living expense for the four years. I can talk and read lips but I'm often left out of their conversations. We were supposed to leave today but when he came to pick me up, my step-sister was there, he said it was a surprise since ''both of his girls'' were graduating, apparently she begged him to come with us and he agreed, saying that she could get his bed and he'll sleep on the floor between us. He works odd jobs, he has unstable relationships and he regularly mooches off people.
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